Betrayal is probably one of the most horrific words for a human being. Just a minute ago you were smiling considered yourself to be happy and successful – and everything is gone now. That’s how the one who was just betrayed feels. Something changes. For a short period of time emptiness appears inside. The anger comes followed by a state of sulking and the desire for revenge. Multiple advises from friends, acquaintances, and psychologists on how to forget or forgive a betrayer follow. I offer you to look at the betrayal not from the point of view of removal of pain, but to investigate the mechanisms of how betrayal appears.
What people call a betrayal causes serious changes in relationships with those who you consider betrayed you or whom you betrayed. In the situation where you consider you were betrayed, you anticipated and wanted one thing, but something totally opposite occurred. Something occurred which you can neither reconcile nor accept yet. Therefore, you call it a betrayal and as a result experience severe pain.
If it appears to you that you are the one who betrayed, you experience heavy guilt and are unable to get rid of this feeling. It means you do not understand and do not accept your inner betrayer who did not behave that way accidentally, as the one you betrayed stimulated you to it even though you cannot see it yet.
So, what is the main reason of such a pain? Is it in the fact that betrayal occurred followed by experience of guilt, pity, and blame or is it due to you not being ready to see this situation in its totality – holistically? It is the holistic perception of your dramatic situations that allows you to remove the conflict and to stop the fight between the opposite sides of your personality, harmonizing the situation. Only then your pain will transform into holistic understanding of yourself allowing you to see what happened to you in reality.
Are you ready to see your “betrayer” side and its fight with the part opposite to it, the one that considers that it was betrayed? Are you ready to understand the motives of the behavior of those two dual parts or do you still need to revel in a tragedy you created yourself?
Any given scene or act of the show of your life is staged strictly in accordance with its scenario, which is written into your personal program. Therefore, everything that happens to you in life appears as a realization of your own personal scenario introduced into you by your parents. But a human being in a sleeping state of consciousness is not aware and does not understand it, perceiving this show only from a point of view of one of its actors – his own. In reality he represents all the show with all the participants, events, décor of the “scene,” relationships between the actors, and changes in the script.
So what is our task as creatures passing our lessons on Earth consist of? It consists of broadening our consciousness that is currently limited by one sided and fragmented perception of our own show and life experience. We need to start seeing our life and our experience holistically, i.e. to perceive everything that occurs in our external life as a reflection of our personal program or our internal world, which is dual, paradoxical, and contradictory.
Based on this understanding of our lessons on Earth, you can see that the pain you experience, in this particular case in connection with betrayal, is an indicator pointing you to the fact that you do not perceive what happens to you holistically yet. You separate yourself from other participants of your show as if they were not your own projection. In reality you project onto them the shadow parts of your personality. So, are you ready to become aware and to understand your projections, i.e. to understand yourself totally and holistically, instead of continuing to mechanically blame other people or yourself?
One can understand one’s shadow parts only when one refuses to continue the internal war with oneself. Unless you have an intention to stop this fight with yourself, you will continue to be in a state of internal war of opposite sides of your personality without even understanding it. As a result, without awareness, you will experience blame, guilt, and pity. But you will not be able to see it, as being in a separated perception you cannot understand your opposite side. In reality, everything that surrounds you represents your games with yourself while other people simply maintain you in this game, playing the roles that were planned by your personal program.
In reality, in case of betrayal, all the participants of the situation, not just one of them, have committed it. If it appears to you that you were betrayed, you contributed to it too. In other words, one of your personal parts wanted it. Do you know what part was it and why it wanted it? Do you know that if you betrayed someone and suffer because of it, the one you betrayed also wanted it? But you would only be able to understand why he or she wanted it if you start to investigate it instead of simply blaming yourself and feeling guilty.
If you continue to insist that either you or someone else is guilty of the betrayal, you will not be able to understand yourself or the scenario of your show holistically. Negating and blaming the external betrayer or blaming only yourself in it, you will not be able to see impartially the mechanisms of the fight of the opposite sides of your personality, i.e. to become aware of your personal program. But it is precisely such an investigation, understanding and acceptance that we need in order to accept our shadow parts and to stop the chronic fight with ourselves. So, what will you choose: to continue to deny and blame or to start to understand and accept yourself holistically?
If you are ready to such a view on the theme of betrayal in your life, I invite you to a dialogue.
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