What is love?

Good morning, Dear reader!

We are going to discuss a very curious subject today – love. What is it? Is it a sexual attraction, a melancholy about someone, a desire for someone to be well? Is all of this love?

Love, from the point of view of holistic vision – is a force attracting two people for a lesson to be experienced together. Each one of the lovers sees in his lover a number of qualities that are pleasant for him and for which he loves his partner.

So, what kind of lessons are we attracted to and come here for? Do we understand what kind of lessons they are? Why do we get them? Who assigned them?

What is love?


I want to start with two questions. First, what do you mean when you say you love someone? And second question, what do you mean when you say you hate someone?

Let’s take a look at what love is. Who do we love? We love the one we find pleasant. And who do we find pleasant? We find pleasant the one who is useful to us. And what is his usefulness to us in? The usefulness is in his satisfaction of our needs – needs for money, recognition, respect, sex, etc.  

And besides, he satisfies those needs the way we dream they would be satisfied. And if he were to satisfy those needs not the way we think they should be satisfied, we start to experience the opposite state toward him – from mild irritation to strong hate. 

So, what determines our feelings? It follows that they are determined by the profit that is appraised by our personality. If another human being strengthens our conscious personal pride, we love him, if not, we hate him.

The pride appears in any one of our opposite personal parts. For example, there is a pride of the personal part that we can call respectful, but there is also the pride of the personal part we can call worthless. The question is which one of them is conscious and which one is subconscious?  

For example, if you consciously consider yourself worthless, you will attract the one that will constantly reinforce your notion of your own worthlessness, but factually the pride of that part, as every part has its own pride. That’s a very important point.

It appears to you that you take pride in your being good, but you also take pride in the fact that you are bad. I specifically took such an unusual example so you can understand why you can fall in love with people that, it appears to you, nobody can fall in love with.

In order to understand how and why the states of love and hate appear, we, first of all, need to understand how our personal program is built. Secondly, we need to learn the level of our consciousness, as on the level of consciousness that happens to be common here, which I call “sleepy,” the dual sides of your personality happen to be in constant fight.

It does not mean that with the change of the level of your consciousness duality will disappear. No, it will not disappear, but the relationship of the opposite sides will change. The relationship of those sides will move from fight to partnership.  

In a “sleepy” state of consciousness, a chronic and constant fight continues inside the personality and it does not even feel the pain that it constantly experiencing. In such a situation every one of our opposite parts is fighting for its own truth with the opposite to it part. Due to this fight, it reinforces its pride. In other words, every part of your personality hates its opposite part.

Now you can understand why hate in all its manifestations – from irritation to aggression – is so common among people. It has quite a wide scale of expression. In the beginning it is a slight irritation, a dislike. Then it is hate, spite, malice, revenge. The palette of hate is very wide, similarly to the palette of expression of the feeling of love, which is also very wide.   

We just saw that the feeling of hate appears because the opposite parts of our personality hate each other, are irritated by each other as they have completely opposite tendencies, opposite desires.   

But you can ask: “Then how does a state of love originate? Why does it originate?” It originates when we project onto another human being, who we say we love, those qualities of ours that we consider to be good.

We can project what we do not accept in ourselves as well as what we praise in ourselves. The external world or other people reflect both our positive and negative qualities as screens.   

In other words, if you project onto someone the qualities you do not like or do not accept in yourself, you will hate him or her. I want to remind again that hate has a very broad diapason of manifestations. If you project onto someone those qualities of yours that you love and accept in yourself, you will love him, again given quite a broad diapason of manifestation of that feeling.   

Therefore, if you accept yourself totally, you will love everyone. It is precisely through accepting in yourself and loving those qualities that you consider negative, that you will love everything, as you will project only positive qualities. And that is that mystical, unconditional love.

In reality we love not others, but we love and hate ourselves. But we consider it not to be so. And it is precisely because we don’t see it so that we constantly try to change others instead of trying to understand, investigate, and accept ourselves. That’s the work we do here.

Through love and hate we are assigned the lessons and assignments to understand ourselves as a whole. In reality love – is a force that draws us to those lessons. Probably it is quite unexpected for you, but that’s how it is.   

Those are not simple lessons, and we need to be drawn to them somehow. And that’s when this attractive force appears – love. And the stronger the force of that love, the more complicated is the lesson we need to learn.

If one were to understand that the wedding – is just a beginning of the lesson, and the partner he or she found happens to be the partner in the lesson, or the opposite side of that assignment he or she needs to solve, everything would have been different.   

Part two to follow …